Faulty Suits and Primate Poo
by StBu
Summary: Ignore the title, its basically an AH oneshot/possibly twoshot, where they finally get together. Warning: THIS IS VERY GRAPHIC! DO NOT READ IF U DONT LIKE THAT STUFF. Theres a reason its rated M : If you would like me to write a tamer version let me no


Hey guys this is my first AF fic, and this is a huge WARNING: contains very graphic sexual scenes. If you don't like that, please don't read it, i hav no desire to offend anyone – thats why its rates M winks

Anyway, enjoy!

StBu

* * *

Artemis' hands blurred across the keyboard as he finalised every aspect of his plan to save the world (yet again) from the criminal exploits of crazed pixie Opal Koboi. It had been two years since he and Holly had travelled back in time to save his mother, only for Opals past self to escape into the present – definitely not what the genius would class as 'mission accomplished'. Since then he had been working with the LEP to find her and prevent her from hatching another dastardly scheme for world domination.

Unfortunately, Opal had proved too elusive for them and had managed to plant mind control devices in the majority of the LEP, and even in Butler, leaving Haven completely under her control and the surface would at her mercy.

Managing to get her hands on some LEP equipment before she escaped Haven, Holly met up with Artemis and the two set up base in an old abandoned homestead on the back of the fowl estate – to be specific, an old abandoned homestead that Artemis had converted into one of the worlds most advanced personal computer labs. The building looked old and draughty from outside but was in reality quite comfortable inside, reminding Holly of her own apartment.

Artemis was trying to focus all his attention on the task at hand, but several times he caught himself frozen in nervous thought about a certain hazel and blue eyed Elf. He was acutely aware of her movements as she strapped on her LEP field equipment, watching her out of the corner of his eye. The things that he had grown so familiar with – the strength she held in her tiny frame, the way her stance reminded him of a dancer, her cute upturned nose and her mismatched eyes that held so much emotion – still captivated him. Strangely, Holly had grown in the last few year's, and in no small way either. She was now almost up to Juliet's nose – the only explanation Foaly could come up with for this never before seen physiological change in an elf was that Artemis' eye was causing her to take on certain human physical traits. So far that was the only one that had surfaced, but – combined with the missing three years of her life – Holly had found that obvious difference from her peers hard enough to deal with.

It was strange that for a relationship that began with kidnapping had for Artemis turned into one of the single most important things in his life. Not that Holly knew that, he thought to himself, a familiar pang of longing coiling itself around his chest.

Truth be told, Artemis Fowl II was afraid. Afraid of telling his one-time enemy that he had fallen for her, afraid of what might happen if she rejected him, and even more afraid of what might 

happen if she didn't. But fate, it seemed, was forcing him into action. Holly was about to walk headlong into the most dangerous situation of her entire life, while he sat here, safe in his hidey-hole. He had to tell her – he would never forgive himself if anything happened to either of them without her knowing the truth. He shivered with dread as he imagined having to watch as the vitals that Holly's fairy suit were now feeding his computer flat lined one by one... No; Artemis shook himself mentally. He would not let that happen. He was Artemis Fowl, the human genius who had outsmarted Opal Koboi on a number of occasions. This would not, could not, be the exception.

Still watching Holly's heart monitor blink away in the corner of his main screen, Artemis was struck by inspiration. Perhaps there was a way to see how Holly felt about him before he took that particular plunge...

Artemis gulped and opened his mouth to say "Holly?", but nothing came out. Clearing his throat, he tried again.

"Holly?" He saw his best friend's head turn towards him in his peripheral vision. Artemis pretended to concentrate on his computer – he needed to keep his hands busy to hide the shaking anyway.

"Yeah Arty?" Just hearing her say his name made his heart jump around in his chest like it was in a mosh pit.

"Remember when Opal gave Mother Spelltrophy, and we went back to get JayJay?"

"That's not exactly something that is easily forgotten, Artemis", Holly trilled lightly, but Artemis could sense the anxiety behind her words and ironic half-smile, and not because of his degree in psychology, either. She was worried about the operation, he knew.

"No, quite true," Artemis tried to smile back at her but he wasn't confident with the outcome. He paused, gathering his usually ordered thoughts. Holly continued suiting up.

"Remember when Mulch brought us up in the gorilla's cage by mistake, and you ended up having to heal me?"

"You already thanked me for that, if that's where this is going..."

Artemis stilled his hands on the keyboard and kept his eyes locked on Holly's vitals.

"No... why did you kiss me?"

* * *

One would think that the thoughts running through Holly's head before she walked into her enemy's arms would be centred around her mission, with perhaps a passing thought about the ramifications for her if she was caught. Not for this elf, though.

As she fumbled around adjusting the gadgets on her suit, Holly's couldn't help but think about the human sitting only meters away from her, typing furiously with his delicate pianists fingers. After 

all this time, Artemis continued to amaze her – he had once of the biggest hearts she had ever encountered, despite being a Mud Boy. How she could have gotten through being the only elf more than 4 feet tall without having had him there to lean on was beyond her.

Actually, as Holly subtly watched her companion she had to admit that he was no longer a Mud Boy, but a Mud Man. In a bizarre twist, his body had decided to catch up with what it said on his birth certificate, so now he looked like the 20 year old human like he was meant to. An entrancing 20 year old human, with perfect teeth that could make all Holly's worries vanish when they were arranged in that smile, and mismatched eyes that felt like they could see right into her soul – not to mention a body that had many a human girl straining for his attention (a fact that annoyed Holly to no end). No longer the weedy little computer geek that Holly first encountered, she told herself that she couldn't help but be attracted to him both physically and emotionally - they had after all been through alot together. She told herself that she couldn't help but day dream about running her fingers through his casual black hair and kissing those gorgeous full lips, as she found out _exactly_ what he could do with his delicate pianist's hands...

"Holly?"Artemis' query made her start guiltily out of her fantasy; her LEP training was the only thing that kept her from jumping a mile.

"Yeah Arty?" Holly loved the way his name felt in her mouth. Artemis continued to type, his eyes fixed on the screen.

"Remember when Opal gave Mother Spelltrophy, and we went back to get JayJay?"

"That's not something that is easily forgotten, Artemis," she tried to joke to hide her misery – after all they had been through she still couldn't admit her feelings to him.

"No, quite true," Artemis replied. A pause.

"Remember when Mulch brought us up in the gorilla's cage by mistake, and you ended up having to heal me?" Holly remember all right, could relive the moments of fear when she saw Artemis hurt.

-Flashback-

_Artemis' hair was slicked back with blood and a crimson trickle leaked from the corner of his left eye. One arm was broken and blood pouched the sleeve of his tracksuit._

_Holly was shocked. Appalled. She felt like crying and running away. Artemis was injured, possibly dead._

-End flashback-

Yes. She remembered.

"You've already thanked me for that, if that's where this is going..."

"No... Why did you kiss me?"

-flashback-

"_Maybe they don't want to rule the world. Maybe that's just you, Arty."_

Arty.

_Guilt gnawed at Artemis' stomach. He gazed at Holly's familiar fine features and realised that he couldn't keep lying to her any longer._

_Artemis put a toe on Mimi's front tyre and climbed on to the bonnet beside Holly. He sat there for a few minutes, concentrating on the experience. Storing it away._

_Holly glanced at him sitting next to her._

"_Sorry about earlier. You know, the thing."_

"_The Kiss?"_

_Holly closed her eyes. "Yes. I don't know what's happening to me. We're not even the same species. And, when we go back, we will be ourselves again." Holly covered her face with her free hand. "Listen to me. Babbling. The LEP's first female captain. That time stream had turned me into what you would call a teenager again."_

_It was true. Holly was different. The time stream had brought them closer together._

"_What if I'm stuck like this? That wouldn't be so bad, would it?"_

_The question hung in the air between them. A question heavy with insecurity and hope._

-End flashback-

Holly had been right. When they had got back to the present, they had gone back to themselves again. But the experience had changed her, brought them irrevocably closer together, making Holly feel younger and carefree when she was around him. Even if she never told him that.

This was the first time they had mentioned the kiss, the first time in over two years. That was a long time to think about it.

So why had she kissed him? Spur of the moment? A friends attempt to show their happiness that another friend was alright? Or maybe it was because Holly's regression into a teenager had allowed her to overcome what a lifetime of experience and bad relationships had taught her to avoid – allowing herself to be vulnerable to those she truly cares about. Maybe by seeing the world from a new perspective allowed her to finally understand where her feelings for Artemis were pointing, and stripped her of the inhibition to act upon what she felt.

She could even now feel his silky mouth under her own and taste what she had decided must have been his mouthwash mixed in with her own salty tears. That single moment had changed Holly more than any other in her entire life.

"I told you Artemis. The time stream changed me into a teenager again – it must have been the hormones", Holly said as casually as possible.

* * *

Artemis' eyes were still locked on the readout on his screens top corner.

A stressful situation – like, for instance, having to answer an uncomfortable question – can cause a number of physiological responses in a person's body. Slightly heightened respiration rate, for example, or increased heart rate.

Artemis watched as Holly's heart rate climbed almost 30 beats per minute, her breaths coming in shorter and shallower, her temperature and blood pressure both climbing significantly. A schematic showed her muscles tense as if getting ready for a large impact, while a small image of her eyes showed her pupils dilate. And all this in the thirty seconds after Artemis asked the question. That was a little bit more than state anxiety; Artemis knew that some deep emotion was taking coursing through Holly's body causing these changes.

Shocked to the core, Artemis felt a grin slowly form on his face. Thank god for Foaly's attention to detail.

Slowly, scared that he was dreaming and would wake himself up, he spun his swivel chair to face Holly. He caught her eyes and held them, amazed as always how natural it looked for her to have one hazel, one blue. One his, one hers. Without looking away from her, he inclined his head towards the plasma screen, tapping the top corner in case she missed it.

Holly's eyes widened as she realised what he was pointing to. Artemis could just imagine how she would be kicking herself for giving herself away; his silly grin widened even further as his wildest dreams were confirmed by the naked emotion in her eyes.

Suddenly Holly was babbling and stammering about time portals and primate droppings and faulty suits. Artemis would have laughed for joy if Holly hadn't stunned him by ripping off the offending piece of clothing and throwing it in a bundle across the small room, leaving her standing there in the white singlet and tight black knee-high skins that she always wore under her LEP suits.

Artemis Fowl II, mastermind and young genius extraordinaire, was for once in his life utterly lost for words – even his brain stopped working to make more room for the images that his eyes were sending it. Holly suddenly realised what she had done, stopped short in the stream of consciousness coming out of her mouth and covered her eyes with one hand, the other straying to her hip to nervously stroke the imaginary gun in anxious habit. Of course Artemis had seen her dressed like this before (and worse), but the situation they found themselves in made it slightly more compromising than usual.

Artemis was jolted out of his daze when the continuous beep of a flat lining heart rate monitor filled the thick silence. He swiftly reached out and hit the mute button and stood up, facing Holly. She stared resolutely at the ground from under her hand. Without realising it and not knowing where he got the courage from, Artemis found himself walking towards her. He stopped close enough to feel the heat radiating out from her lithe frame and reached a hand up to reverently pull her hand from her eyes. Holly let her arm drop but kept her eyes down, staring at her hands which were now fidgeting together.

Trailing his fingertips down the side of Holly's burning face, Artemis knew he would give anything to be able to touch her like this whenever he wanted, to feel her skin on his.

Finally, hesitantly, Holly brought her eyes to meet his own.

"You did that on purpose," she murmured, the fear in her eyes and voice palpable.

"Yes," Artemis almost whispered back. "I had to... I had to make sure how you felt, before I..." He found himself leaning towards her, feeling his desire tingling behind his bellybutton.

"Before..." Holly breathed; her darkening eyes flickered towards his mouth, the insecurity in them replaced by an emotion that Artemis realised he had longed to see there – naked craving.

"Before..." Artemis repeated and brushed his lips every so lightly across hers. It was light, sweet, gentle, tender, that blissful feeling of sharing the deepest of emotions in a single touch. For Artemis is reaffirmed in him the feelings that were woken by that unexpected kiss all those years ago. And then the pair wasn't just joined by their kiss, and Artemis could finally allowed his hands to roam over Holly's body like he had dreamed; buried in the soft hair at the nape of her neck, caressing her arms, slipping underneath the back of her singlet to stroke her lower back. She shivered from his touch and it made him want to touch her more. The feeling of her hands brushing his skin left him tingling all over, needing to feel more.

Slowly the kiss became more urgent, more demanding; tongues intertwined like they had been doing it for years, Artemis explored Holly's mouth and in turn offered her his. Holly would nip at Artemis' top lip and in reply he would pull her bottom lip into his mouth, sucking and nibbling at it gently but intensely.

Before Artemis knew it he had Holly pressed against the wall with her legs wrapped around his lower torso, grasping and massaging one of her thighs for support while his other hand trailed across her stomach, straying higher and higher. It was obviously not enough for Holly, who broke the kiss long enough to slip her shirt over her head. Artemis' brain engaged for long enough to note the fact that her bra was built into the shirt like a sports top, and then his brain realised that his eyes had been trying to tell him that Holly was now bare-chested in front of him. All thoughts of shirts, bras and sports suddenly didn't seem as interesting. Especially since Holly had decided he was taking to long and was now caressing her own left nipple with fingers that looked suspiciously like they had been sucked on first. The brown nipple hardened in arousal and goose bumps formed on the slightly lighter skin around it.

All Artemis could do was watch in wonder as Holly's eyes closed and a deliciously soft moan escaped her mouth. When she slid them open again they were heavily lidded and laughing at him, her mouth taunting him with a cheeky half-smile.

* * *

Holly didn't know what it was about Artemis that made her feel so uninhibited; she wasn't exactly the type to put on a show for any man. But Artemis hade her want to make him want her; she was thriving under his need.

Who would have thought fifteen minutes ago that Artemis would have her pressed against a wall, moaning at her own touch?

When she looked into his eyes again she saw that he had had enough of playing spectator; he wanted back on the field. But as he tried to shift position for better access to her chest his hardened crotch rubbed against her centre and she let out an involuntary cry, throwing her head back against the wall behind her. Gasping for breath Holly looked back at Artemis to find him staring at her with worried eyes. She grinned wickedly and used the anchor of her legs had around his waist to create more of that delicious friction between their most sensitive parts.

With her hands planted on his heaving chest and forehead pressed to his, she felt more that heard the rumbling moan that escaped him, a moan that was almost as arousing to her as the feeling that she had just created for herself. She saw the animal in his eyes when he opened them, and then her arms slipped around his back and pulled him close to her.

Holly could feel Artemis' mouth next to her ear as they both worked to generate as much friction as possible. His hot gasps tickled her pointed ear, his moans became louder and louder; he trailed the tip of his tongue around the sensitive skin and nibbled gently on her earlobe.

"_H-Holly! Holly!_" Artemis' husky gasps filled her mind, the only sound in the world she wanted to hear at that moment. A deep animal growl rumbled from his chest and, taking her full weight on his chest he carried her over to the recliner in front of the empty fireplace and gently lay her back on the soft leather. He trailed soft kissed from her belly button, up through the valley in between her modest breasts and up her neck to her lips.

Artemis paused, his arms braced on the chair either side of her slight frame so he wouldn't crush her, and stared into her eyes with his own mismatched ones. Holly didn't think anyone had looked at her with such intensity in her whole life. Then he said the words that were the peak of all her fantasies...

"I'm in love with you, Holly." It was incredible that after what they had just done, she could still make out the anxiety in his face as he said this. Silly Mud Man.

* * *

Artemis held his breath as the words escaped his mouth, still braced for rejection even now. Who's to say this means the same thing to her as it does to me? What if she doesn't...

But Holly simply kissed him gently on the lips, a very different kiss to the ones they had been sharing just minutes before. Artemis felt her smile into the kiss. Then she pulled back to grin at him.

"I love you too, you big idiot."

* * *

The end! I think? I may do another chapter, we'll c  let me know plz

Also i want to do a longer story, but at a lower rating . tell me if u recon i should do that if u would be so kind.

Right well, that's all from me so, toodleoo.

StBu


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